Summer is a great time to teach the skills of independence!
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The process of helping a child mature and become increasingly independent takes time and practice. Independence is not a given, and in fact, in our current culture of parent involvement, all too often children are prevented from learning these vital skills.
Consider the summer break a perfect time to begin to help kids of all ages begin to flex their skills of independence. During the school year, time is tight and patience is low to teach our 8 year old how to make their own lunch, or how to pump up the tires on their bike. During the school year, we are on overdrive and often, it is just plain easier for us to do for and manage our kids, rather than entrust them with their own planning and executing.
Bring on summer and a dose of ‘independence boot camp’. Think of all those things you do each day to help your child thrive. The list varies greatly from young child to young adult, but it is never too young to start. From planning the fun outings, such as a movie to the mundane, like a dentist appointment, parents tend to manage the planning, booking and execution. Parents of teens are often planning out the logistics of how they will get there, when they need to leave, how they will get home, when in fact, teens need to begin to practice this basic life skill.
Make a commitment to try and pass the baton back to your kids to do things for themselves. You can scaffold the project, but do not micro-manage it. Kids can only learn by doing, not just watching you and listening to the instructions.. And in fact, the failures that may come, such as taking the bus in the wrong direction and getting lost, provide opportunity for kids to really dig in and learn problem solving skills that will be invaluable later in life, when the stakes are sure to be higher.
If you need motivation, consider the feedback from employers looking to hire university students. Employers are shocked at the lack of basic phone skills and ability to communicate back and forth. The candidates that can at least speak on the phone and answer emails adequately are already ahead of the competition.
Bring on summer and bring on skills of independence. These are the building blocks for happy, resilient kids.
PS: check out this tiktok of a boy learning to call and make his own dentist appointment. It is a great laugh but also drives home the motivation to help kids begin to learn these basic skills early in life!